Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
