Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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