Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
there was a trapeze. enough said
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
