I have demons in me.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
