i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
