I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
