it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You left your phone here
Wait...
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
