Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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