zippers are such a cool invention
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize