he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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