How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
