i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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