Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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