I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
