theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
