butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Jerry, you need to find god
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
