Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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