That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
