I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
