This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I cut my penus on the lid.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
