Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My liver just had a heart attack.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
