I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
