i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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