How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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