That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
