susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
