the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
