I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
