we have officially lost it.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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