I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize