Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
