hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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