make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am mentally ready for anal.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
