I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
