im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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