ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
