We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
