just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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