her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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