with your own penis?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
how does that bad decision feel?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize