Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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