That's when you crack a 10am beer
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
In other news, I just burned my penis
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
