I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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