she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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