i think i have herpe
just one?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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