too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
