I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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