only you would photoshop your dick
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
