So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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