Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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