At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
