i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
