Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
third nipple confirmed
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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