dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
