Fuck appropriateness.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
