I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
