I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
