Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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