wat bout pragnant strippers??
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
