the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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