i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
